Log time: 8:15-8:22; Back in action...

It seems like I haven't crapped in a few weeks, but fortunately that's not the case. I've just been working on some other stuff and shamefully neglecting my chronicles from the bathroom. The main focus of my attention has been finishing a short film called "Mohels" that I wrote and directed. It can be viewed at www.channel102.net . Here are a few thoughts and other stuff...

Thoughts #1: Has anyone ever hooked up with a girl who gets excited by the sound of crapping or farting, like to the point of orgasm? That's what I was wondering this morning as I sat on the toilet, crapping away... could this ever turn anyone on? And if so, would that make me happy?

Thoughts #2: Baby names are getting competitive, so I’m thinking a little outside the box and am going to name my baby an AIM or e-mail name, like musiclover99 or applejunkie03.

Thoughts #3: Every 6 months, you should try to move something from across the room without touching it (i.e. with your mind), just to see if you've acquired special powers without knowing it. I always try it on something small, just in case it actually works. (Thanks to "The Oracle" for that thoughts.)

Thoughts #4: It really bothers me when someone e-mails me (i.e. they're on the internet) a question that they could have answered themselves through a simple web search. For some reason, it's usually a girl who does this.

Thoughts #5: Why are the effects of birth control pills always difficult, like cramps or depression? How come its never like taking ecstacy? You'll never hear, "Janey's new pill is making her so easy to be with. She's always happy and supportive now."

Thoughts #6: In baseball, there's good money and no major height requirements for success... why aren't there more Jewish players?

Thoughts #7: Non-jewish people who work at a temple or another jewish environment are the nicest people in the world. I don't know why, but they just are.

Other Stuff #1: I was on the subway and noticed an advertisement for the law firm Fitgerald & Fitzgerald. On the side of the advertisement, the good people from Fitzgerald & Fitzgerald were nice enough to list some of their most recent court room wins, one of them really perplexed me... F&F won a $7.2 million medical malpractice Queens jury verdict for a man whose arm was injured during prostate surgery... WTF?!? Did they mistake the man's elbow for his asshole??? or is F&F really saying, "come in and tell us about your day. Don't worry, we'll find someone we can sue about something".

-TDM

Log Time: 12:10-12:17; Crapzilla...

Does it exist?

Video #1 to see: (link) Stephen Colbert's speech at the White House Correspondents Dinner. Colbert makes fun of Bush and a bunch of other people to their face. It's a must watch.

Video #2 to see: (link) Buzz Aldrin punches a man in the face who accuses him of not going to the moon.

Video to see #3: (link) Pearl Jam playing an acoustic version of Bob Dylan's "Masters of War" on Letterman. It is a few years old, but still fantastic.

Business idea: Come up with adjustable-height lift attachments for sneakers to wear at general admission concerts and golf tournaments, so that your view is never obstructed by a taller person in front of you.

Favorite "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy" quote from my most recent viewing... "It smells like Big Foot's penis."... referring to Brian Fantana's Panther cologne.

-TheDM

Log Time: 9:25-9:31; SAT's...

The SUV is to gasoline as TDM is to toilet paper...

News #1: Apparently Matt Leinart is now dating Paris Hilton. (link) That's definitely not the decision making I'd want out of my quarterback. No wonder he fell to 10th...

News #2: Here are some links on Yellowstone National Park and the possibility that it is a "supervolcano" ready to erupt. (link1)(link2) (link3) (link4) For those of you who don't know, Yellowstone sits on top of an enormous caldera of magma. (i.e. its a volcano of gigantic proportions - eruption could be 2500 times the size of Mount St. Helens) Scientists estimate that this caldera has erupted approximately every 600,000 years, with the last one time being a little over 640,000 years ago... meaning, of course, that we're overdue! There is ongoing monitoring of Yellowstone, which can be followed online. (link)

Not News at all...

I have been working on some "Alternative Games". (As a cautionary note, these games are only to be played in a safe environment, and with a person / people you have the utmost comfort with. I also recommend a camera rolling at all times for additional security... and of course, they're not real...)

Game #1: "Roofie"- This is a fun, couple or mutliple couples game. You and your playing adversary(ies) each take a "roofie" and see who can last the longest without passing out. The one who holds out the longest gets to have their way with the other person(s) until they pass out also... beware... you can wake up in some pretty precarious positions...

Game #2: "Roofie Roulette" - This is similar to the first game. There are two versions... Version (1) This is the traditional way to play. Pills are handed out, with every pill except for one being a "placebo". You then go around the room, one by one, with each person taking a pill and waiting to see if they are the one who has been "roofied" and will be taken advantage of.... Version (2) works in almost the opposite way and can only be played with 3 or more people. Everyone in the room is given a "roofie", with only one of the "roofies" being a "placebo". Then, the lucky person who has ingested the "placebo" gets to take advantage of all of the other passed out players.

Video Link: Randy Johnson (I think) throws a pitch that de-feathers a bird. (link)


-TDM

Log time: 9:05-9:11; Fun at Wal Mart...

Nothing abnormal to report here in crapville. A couple of interesting things that caught me attention...

Here's a link to an interesting story... serves this guy right for going to the bathroom in a public place without checking the toilet seat. WTF was he thinking? (link)

"Baywatch" actress Donna D'Errico has filed for divorce from her husband of nine years, Motley Crue bass player Nikki Sixx. (link) I had no idea that everyone in the band was banging a "Baywatch" chick! You got to love these guys.

Also of interest to almost no one... Puerto Rico ran out of money. (link)

-TDM