The Doodie Man!

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Friday, October 13, 2006

Log Time: Nothing yet; Situation Report...

There is a lot of seismic activity pointing to something big on the horizon, but I'm still waiting. Forcing these things is a bad idea.

This is a strange and sad financial planning story. (Link) Timothy J. Bowers, a 63 year old Columbus, Ohio man robbed a bank, immediately gave himself up (i.e. turned around and gave the money to a security guard), pleaded guilty and asked the judge to sentence him to three years in jail... until the time he becomes eligible for social security. The judge, of course, obliged. Apparently the only employment opportunities Mr. Bowers could find were minimum wage and he felt that jail was a better option than working the night shift at Wendy's. It doesn't say it in the article, but I hope this guy's been to jail before and this wasn't a half baked idea sparked by a late night viewing of "The Shawshank Redemption" on TNT... its just hard for me to believe that he did a thorough comparison of his options, and everything pointed to jail. Hmmm... what happens when he's put in a cell with a guy who just killed four family members? Will that throw his equation off? Also, is it exactly three years until he becomes eligible to receive social security? I doubt it. Kind of feels like he should have done the math to come up with a more exact amount of time, because even if you qualify, you're not actually paid social security for the time you're in jail... fyi. (link) But your spouse and children can receive your benefits, if that's relevant.

A true sign that either I'm lazy or someone else was: There are way too many identical street addresses in Manhattan and Brooklyn, so every time you type a New York, NY address into mapquest, you are asked whether you meant that address in Manhattan or Brookyln. This extra mouse click annoys the shit out of me. (for example: 220 Park Avenue exists in Brooklyn, Manhattan and also Staten Island). And although the extra mouse click takes almost zero time and no effort, and I could easily avoid the problem by typing "Manhattan" into mapquest instead on "NY", I just don't. Instead, I blame the lazy, unoriginal people who couldn't find the time to come up with new names for each street in the New York Metropolitan area. Now I know it would have been nearly impossible to envision the "mapquest situation" when they started naming streets, but they must have assumed that people in the different boroughs would fraternize at some point and that it would be confusing if there was a Park Avenue in three of them? To prove my point, I am on the look out for two people who have had anywhere close to the following happen to them:

(Person 1 and Person 2 talk on the phone to set a place to meet.)

Person 1: Hey, there's a party at 220 Park Avenue. I'll see you there in 30 minutes.

Person 2: Awesome. I'll see you there.

(an hour later.)

Person 1: Dude, where the fuck are you?

Person 2: I'm at 220 Park Avenue, where are the fuck are you?

Person 1: I'm at 220 Park Avenue.

Person 2: I don't see you.

Person 1: Well I don't see you either. Are you sure you're at 220 Park Avenue?

Person 2: Do you think I'm a fucking idiot? Are you sure that you're at 220 Park Avenue is the question?

Person 1: Why, because you think I'm a fucking idiot?

Person 2: Maybe. (beat) Is there a Taco Bell on the corner? I'm right across from a Taco Bell. If I wasn't worried about tearing the lining of my stomach, I would definitely get some.

Person 1: Taco Bell? Dude, what are your cross-streets?

Person 2: Park Avenue, and let me see... fuck there's no street sign... oh wait, there it is. Clinton. I'm on the corner of Park Avenue and Clinton.

Person 1: Are you in fucking Brooklyn?

Person 2: Um...

...okay, I admit it. That was a weak attempt at humor.


- TDM

-en espaƱol en el www.elhombrededoodie.blogspot.com-

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