Log Time: 5:42-5:48; St. Craptrick's Day...

I had Chipolte for lunch today... surprisingly good Mexican fast-food... the portions were very generous and the resulting bowel movement was a testament to this... I felt like Police Chief Martin Brody (Roy Scheider) when he sees the shark for the first time in the original Jaws... "We're going to need a bigger boat." But like Quint (Robert Shaw), I refused any outside assistance and defeated the beast... well, in this example I guess I was like Quint in that I refused assistance, but unlike Quint and more like Chief Martin Brody and Matt Hooper (Richard Dreyfuss), in that I lived to tell the tale.

It's St. Patrick's Day today... a day when anyone whose Irish has the right to drink until they puke, and then start drinking again until they puke again, etc. And here in NYC, we obviously have a parade to commemorate the joyous occasion... because that's what we do (spending has to be high to keep taxes high). This means that the streets of NYC are canvassed with drunk Irish people all day and all night... this sucks for everyone else besides... you guessed it... the Irish! Hmmm... this reminds me of a summer event called "The Puerto Rican Day Parade". For so many reasons, it doesn't seem fair to everyone else in NYC that both of these days exist. I have two potential solutions...

1) Convince Puerto Ricans to have their parade on March 17th. It would be like "Alien vs. Predator" meets "Girls Gone Wild". Probably one of the best "pay-per-view" events in the history of "ppv" events unfolding right before our eyes, on the streets of the Big Apple... this would also be a great Xbox game!

2) Start inbreeding Puerto Ricans with people of Irish decent, negating a future need for both parades.

By the way, Tom Cruise is a jackass! Why you ask? This story is why:

"HOLLYWOOD bully Tom Cruise got Comedy Central to cancel Wednesday night's cablecast of a controversial "South Park" episode about Scientology by warning that he'd refuse to promote "Mission Impossible 3," insiders say."

Here's the thing about the episode... regarding Scientology, everything in the episode was factual... and regarding the insinuation that Tom Cruise is homosexual... seems true also... tangental thought coming... If Tom Cruise and John Travolta are homosexual (both insinuated in the episode), then by not standing up for other homosexuals, they have done more of adisservicee to the gay community than any politician, skin head, or anyone else who has ever offended someone because of their sexual orientation...

...apparently I'm not the only one who thinks Cruise is nuts. http://www.tomcruiseisnuts.com/


-TDM